(Whaaa? You talkin' bout me???)1. Zach Morris (obviously he is first), so he can tell you why his new nickname is Manu Ginobli. P.S. He loves the new nickname, so everyone should call him this for the rest of his life.
2. The Big Deuce Deuce, so he can tell you why playing the drinking game hockey is always a good idea. He may also provide insight on why Steve Nash gets better at basketball the uglier he is (how can someone even play with their eye sewn shut? He must have made a deal with the devil, or at the very least, David Stern).
3. The Whip has an epic story about losing a half completed dining room table, and needs to detail and plot out the mission on how to get that table back. My ninja skills are negligible, but I'm still going to put my name on the sign up sheet so that I can be in on Operation Free Bird.
4. Big D little g needs to provide a hard hitting social commentary on how the quality of the fake hair that the gossip girl actors wear is directly proportionate to peace in the Middle East. She can put Cher Horowitz to shame.
5. E-Ro needs to provide an early season update on the hotness level of Dodger players, compared to the hotness level of other baseball teams (please use the Diamondbacks as your standard).
6. C-Town (I don't know another nickname, and sorry, I am not using B**** Taylor) has the pulse of the nation, and can be relied on posting food and culture updates on New York City, Phoenix, Tuscon and Salt Lake City, among others (just to give you a taste of what you are missing by not being in the good ol' U.S. of A.)
7. Ram-Bomb, the King of Pop-ups, can scintillate you by recapping our highly mediocre kickball and flip cup season, and our impending reign of glory as a bowling team (that is too-be-formed). If he has additional time, he can regal you with stories of dancing for screaming bachelorette parties.
Well, that is all the hating I have in me for the moment. See you guys at the Max!
Thank you, Ms. Bible, for tellin it like it is, so that I didn't have to.
ReplyDeletePLEASE FRIENDS! Post and save me from shedding any more tears when I check this and find no new entries.
Goddamnit, I love you guys and I want to hear your stories and see your pretty little gringo faces. (For the record, they do call anyone that is a native English speaker a gringo, no matter what your race.)
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