SHAME!!!!!

If this virtual shaming doesn't guilt people into posting, I don't know what will. Oh yes I do! Dun, Dun, Dun! You have two weeks, or embarrassing pictures of the following people might begin to surface on this blog....
Erin
Raman
Danielle
Jami

Things About Things

(In case you forgot what I looked like)

I don't have a ton to say, and this blog post is being written more out of guilt of not posting than out of actual, interesting news... but here it goes, a top ten list of things about things (or "potpourri", as Jeopardy would call it).

10. I am on my way to turning into my fantasy; a thick skinned, hard scrabblin', ole country boy from Texas. The person that I want to be when I grow up has invited to mentor me, and I am getting my first lesson on Saturday. He has already gifted me with a corncob pipe, and will provide sipping Wild Turkey and a garage. I need to provide a dog, and we'll sit in his garage with our dogs, and the aforementioned whiskey and tobacco. I hope I can live up to his expectations.

9. The Bay Area will be graced by the presence of a one Chachee Ramos over the weekend. Our South Africa encounters went swimmingly, so I am optimistic that this weekend will be great. I just hope that he has weaned himself from his biltong (South African beef jerky) dependency by Saturday, I really don't want to find him sleeping on a couch covered in jerky with one hand in a biltong bag and the rest of his body twitching occasionally.

8. My father got married on Saturday. It was a fun, mellow, casual affair filled with family, friends and good food. I raided the bar at the end (at the bartender's suggestion), which made the event that much better. For all of those with questions: no, I'm not going to call her mom, and; who knows, maybe we'll paint our toes and braid each others hair someday, I'm not ruling it out.

7. The UCSB crew is heading to our annual Vegas trip in a couple weeks. Madness will surely ensue. There are 17 Gauchos (or those that love Gauchos) making the trip, and to up the ante, the other Bible sister is bringing along another 20 or so friends, including 11 boys who have decided to treat this weekend as a bachelor party for one of his friends. I'm assuming that we'll find deuce deuce with them at the Crazy Horse II at 3:00 am on Sunday.

6. I've been thinking about instituting a "jello shot Friday" tradition. I think it will be something to look forward to.

5. Our book club is tonight. I chose the book Lowboy, and I'm interested in seeing how it went over. I'm afraid the bar was set too high by the author and Zach Galifianakis, who had a pretty funny interview/short video on amazon.com. I've somehow conned Zach (my Zach, not Zach the one man wolf pack) into making dinner, so our readers can look forward to oxtails and polenta. Yum.

4. I'm beginning a slow transition to a different unit over the summer. Sort of a "helping out" probationary period type of thing. I'm optimistic that it is a good move, and it should allow me to travel (although not to South America). If anyone wants to be my traveling buddy to Asia, let me know.

3. Zach and I ran the tables at darts in SB over the weekend. It was the closest thing I've felt (and will probably ever feel) to glory. And, I hit three bulls eyes during out reign of terror, which, I'm pretty sure, is a personal best. Autograph requests and personal appearances are currently being considered.

2. I recently got Mandy and Z to watch Grownups with me. This is an official warning, don't.make.the.same.mistake.I.did. On a vaguely related note, I know the guy that made the poster. He is an amazing designer who gets stuck with shitty movies. The last one I remember him telling me he made was "don't mess with the zohan," maybe he is cursed?

1. With SA under our belts, I'm beggining to feel a little restless. I think Z and I are going to plan to visit the sister (overrated) in June and do a little Italy, Slovenia, Croatia trifecta. It sounds like fun, but I'm also willing to hear other suggestions in case something better pops up! Either way, any ideas of which region of Italy to go to is highly appreciated.

0. (Bonus!) Although I am thrilled that my star-eyed wandering buddies are having the time of their lives abroad, I am really beginning to miss them pretty badly, and as I am a selfish person, I would really appreciate it if they got their wandering out of their system so they could just come home already, okay?

Comments, Y'all

A certain debonair, mustachioed wandering man has informed me that the comments are not working on this blog. Heads have been scratched and settings have been changed, and I think all is now well in the commenting world, so please feel free to extol the greatness of this fine blog.

Mookalakaheeki. Come on, you wanna lei me. Pass the poi, Mahalo.

(The beach in front of our hotel. Suh-weet.)

Instead of being sad and jealous in cold, rainy San Francisco that a certain two so-and-so's were having the most epic trip of their lives, I decided to do something about it and get my pale extremities to a place warm and sunny... Hawaii. (If we are looking for accuracy, the reason that I really went to Hawaii was to be a bridesmaid in a wedding... details, details). So, without further ado, the top ten reasons why this Maui trip was radical, tubular, and righteous, brah.

10. A five day weekend. Any weekend that is longer than your weekday is pretty epic in my books. The joy of this weekend was only compounded by the fact that much of it was spent lounging on the beach, or floating in crystal clear waters.

9. Paddle boarding. This was my first attempt at paddle boarding, and even though it is tough, it is pretty, pretty, pretty fun. I highly recommend giving it a whirl. Highlights of paddle boarding included (uh oh, mini list, get ready!)

• Watching Zach try and fail to get up on the board during gale force winds about a quarter mile away from shore. I wasn't sure if he was going to make it back to land, and was trying to remember what his life insurance policy was like. Don't worry, he made it and I'm still broke.
  
• Watching my almost 60 year old aunt hop up, never fall, and paddle around like she was born to do it (and having Mandy follow her around like a little sea puppy just in case she does go over).
• Attempting to go double on the board. Trust me, it doesn't work.

8. Learning a new Slovenian drinking game. Basically, you put a deck of cards on a can or shot glass and try to blow the cards off. The person to blow the last card off has to drink whatever is in the can/shot glass. Hilarity ensues. This quickly became the most popular game of the weekend.

7. Lava Flows all weekend. Basically a Pina Colada with strawberry puree in it. Delicious, $5, and served right next to the pool What could go wrong?

6. Flatbread Pizza Co. Amazing flatbread pizza using local ingredients. Hurley (from Lost! Is anyone watching the season finale?) recommended it on his blog, so we went to check it out. Any pizza good enough for Hurley is good enough for me! Believe it or not, my fave was the veggie (can you believe it Beth?), with potatoes and goat cheese, although the sausage pizza was nothing to sneeze at.

5. Pterodactyl flip cup. You may have had to be there, but this almost killed my cousin. Seriously, she disappeared and we didn't see her for most the next day, we were worried. Basically, you have to drink and flip with your hand backwards (I know this makes no sense, don't worry, I'll show it to you). Quick, right now reach behind you and pretend you are picking up a cup from a shelf without looking. Now, with your arm like that, reach around in front of you and try to drink like that, with your elbow out all wonky. That is Pterodactyl flip cup.

4. Beer flights at Maui Brew co. I highly recommend that you try all of their beer. Some of it it weird and rum flavored, but all of them are worth a taste. Bonus points if you get a pulled pork slider to chase the beer with.

3. Safeway. Weird but true, Safeway came through for us time and time again. The main highlight was the ability to order ahi tuna poke by the container at the seafood counter. $8 a pound and the freshest ahi I have ever had. Mmmmm, delicious, especially on a cracker with some brie.

2. Hanging out with the Bible clan. As crazy as they all are, the Bibles are a good group of people. It was a blast seeing cousins, uncles and aunts that I rarely get to see. They are always up for a good time, and what is a better family reunion than Maui?

1. The Bible-Mathy wedding (as if you didn't know this was coming). It was awesome to see my favorite cousin get married to a good guy, with a great group of people showing them love and support. Get ready for another mini list, becuase there were several highlights within the wedding and reception:

• A rainbow broke out right as the groom kissed the bride and they walked back up the aisle. It was so Disney that I almost broke out into "Hakuna Matata"
• The bride getting down on the dance floor. She dances just like me, so you can close your eyes and get a visual.
  
• Getting several people to do the crab dance, its sweeping the nation!
• Taking cactus cooler shots at the bar during the after party. When the red bull ran out, we did vodka/peach schnapps shots. When the vodka ran out, we did beer/schnapps shots. I'll let you guess how I'd rank them in terms of deliciousness. The best part was chanting someones name until they were forced into taking a shot. I love peer pressure!

And that, my amigos, was my mini vacay to Maui. We managed to simultaneously pack a lot in and relax. And while I'm still sad and jealous that you are off gallivanting in exotic lands, at least I have a hint of a tan to console me through the cold San Francisco summer.

(Two people that are not me, but who I hung out with a lot over the course of the trip)

Thats right... I'm calling you out

(Whaaa? You talkin' bout me???)

Time out!!! Wow, this blog is going downhill fast. I think we need some new blood all up in this hizzy. So, to continue with my never ending lists, here are some people that I think should post asap. Yeah, you saw it, I'm a callin' you out suckas.

1. Zach Morris (obviously he is first), so he can tell you why his new nickname is Manu Ginobli. P.S. He loves the new nickname, so everyone should call him this for the rest of his life.

2. The Big Deuce Deuce, so he can tell you why playing the drinking game hockey is always a good idea. He may also provide insight on why Steve Nash gets better at basketball the uglier he is (how can someone even play with their eye sewn shut? He must have made a deal with the devil, or at the very least, David Stern).

3. The Whip has an epic story about losing a half completed dining room table, and needs to detail and plot out the mission on how to get that table back. My ninja skills are negligible, but I'm still going to put my name on the sign up sheet so that I can be in on Operation Free Bird.

4. Big D little g needs to provide a hard hitting social commentary on how the quality of the fake hair that the gossip girl actors wear is directly proportionate to peace in the Middle East. She can put Cher Horowitz to shame.

5. E-Ro needs to provide an early season update on the hotness level of Dodger players, compared to the hotness level of other baseball teams (please use the Diamondbacks as your standard).

6. C-Town (I don't know another nickname, and sorry, I am not using B**** Taylor) has the pulse of the nation, and can be relied on posting food and culture updates on New York City, Phoenix, Tuscon and Salt Lake City, among others (just to give you a taste of what you are missing by not being in the good ol' U.S. of A.)

7. Ram-Bomb, the King of Pop-ups, can scintillate you by recapping our highly mediocre kickball and flip cup season, and our impending reign of glory as a bowling team (that is too-be-formed). If he has additional time, he can regal you with stories of dancing for screaming bachelorette parties.

Well, that is all the hating I have in me for the moment. See you guys at the Max!

Another Day, Another Dollar

(Homework is not my friend)

I am supposed to be writing a paper, so I thought that I'd detail my top ten time-wasting websites that I peruse when I should be working, just in case you have a few extra pesos/solas/bolivianos/reals/fuertes/guaranis/dollars to spare at the internet cafe. Enjoy!

10. Friend's websites (although obviously not a waste of time), such as the always witty Manifest Destino, the seldom updated Plebisite and the quirky Europe Woo.

9. My favorite Lostie Jorge Garcia's blog. Short and sweet entries, just like I like my drinks and my men (whaaaaa, that doesn't make sense???) http://dispatchesfromtheisland.blogspot.com/

8. Best Week Ever, the most nonsensical pop culture blog out there. If Perez Hilton and Dickers had a baby that was a blog, it would be this one. http://www.bestweekever.tv/

7. Smitten Kitchen, to determine what I am going to eat for dinner (or most likely, dessert). http://smittenkitchen.com/

6. Apartment Therapy, so I can feel bad about how after three years my house still isn't totally decorated. http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/

5. Wikipedia. In the past week, thanks to wikipedia, I have learned these three things: 1) Cinco de Mayo is not the Mexican Independence Day, and most of Mexico doesn't actually celebrate Cinco de Mayo; 2) Tim Duncan enjoys Renaissance Fairs and Dungeons and Dragons, and; 3) Keanu Reeves (dude) is Canadian (sweet).

4. Tom Selleck Waterfall Sandwich. An oldie but goody, cheers me up no matter how bad my case of the Mondays is. http://selleckwaterfallsandwich.tumblr.com/

3. New York Magazine Daily Intel, but only for these three things: 1) Weekly sex diaries (whoa, weirdo); 2) Recap of Gossip Girl, and the recap of the recap, and; 3) Recap of The Real Housewives of New York. I'm sure you are watching both of those shows abroad, I expect a bullet point list of why you are on Team Bethanny or Team Jill, and why Jenny Humphrey is an evil robot.

2. Craigslist. Sometimes, I may or may not buy steamer trunks while Zach is at conferences (score). The goal is to have a steamer trunk/liquor cart by the time you two booze hounds get back. I can't wait to see what else I acquire before you return.

1. Facebook (duh). Because of this brilliant time suck, I no longer feel the need to go to my high school reunion!

(The liquor cabinet to be)

Top Ten Things That Made This Week Pretty Alright

(Our Super Smart Trivia Team)

In no particular order, here are ten things from the past seven days that made the week pretty, pretty good.

10) The Lakers beat the Thunder in six. They will now proceed to stomp all over the Jazz.

9) We won our kickball game AND I managed to get on base. It was pretty thrilling, to say the least.

8) Copious consumption of homemade pork products courtesy of certain Zach Morris. Namely sausages and bacon. And, just to up the ante, homemade pretzel dogs! Life really doesn't get any better.

7) One of my favorite ladies, a Miss Erin Rossello graced us with her presence. Chaos ensued, but luckily no one puked (although it was touch and go for a bit).

6) Jami, Raman, Zach and I (plus a few others), are clearly the second smartest group of people in the world, because we took SECOND Place in Trivia on Thursday night. Because it was not monopoly, nor a beauty contest, we did not win $10. We did, however, receive a pitcher of Bass for our efforts.

5) Jenn threw a great birthday party that started out classy but ended up with a game of beer pong on their marble island. It was truly the best of both worlds.

4) I finally have settled on names for my two future children. They are: Porter Wolfie Bible-Davis and Stout Hammerhead Bible-Davis, regardless of gender. Zach is not yet on board, but I'm sure he'll come around.

3) The knowledge that I have a pretty amazing group of girl friends were reaffirmed with a pretty epic girl's dinner at Beretta. The pizza was fabulous, and a close second in being the most awesome thing of the night (besides the ladies, of course).

2) Free otter pops at Butter. Enough said.

1) The weather has been great, and there is no way to better celebrate that than playing hearts with friends outside, while polishing off two bottles of wine. Which is exactly what we did.

4 months down, 5 to go

This blog was created at the suggestion of a certain vegetarian lady who is currently wandering around South America. While our two amigos have been doing a great job of keeping us up to date on their adventures, some of us (me) have been doing a less than stellar job of letting them know what we have been up to, so I told this lovely lady that I would start a blog for friends to post to when they have done something fun (or, really, anything besides crying themselves to sleep at night because they miss their two traveler friends so much). So, my friends, feel free to post as you see fit, to let our two little traveling hot pockets know that through a tremendous effort, we have allowed our lives to go on in their absence. Cheers!