Mookalakaheeki. Come on, you wanna lei me. Pass the poi, Mahalo.

(The beach in front of our hotel. Suh-weet.)

Instead of being sad and jealous in cold, rainy San Francisco that a certain two so-and-so's were having the most epic trip of their lives, I decided to do something about it and get my pale extremities to a place warm and sunny... Hawaii. (If we are looking for accuracy, the reason that I really went to Hawaii was to be a bridesmaid in a wedding... details, details). So, without further ado, the top ten reasons why this Maui trip was radical, tubular, and righteous, brah.

10. A five day weekend. Any weekend that is longer than your weekday is pretty epic in my books. The joy of this weekend was only compounded by the fact that much of it was spent lounging on the beach, or floating in crystal clear waters.

9. Paddle boarding. This was my first attempt at paddle boarding, and even though it is tough, it is pretty, pretty, pretty fun. I highly recommend giving it a whirl. Highlights of paddle boarding included (uh oh, mini list, get ready!)

• Watching Zach try and fail to get up on the board during gale force winds about a quarter mile away from shore. I wasn't sure if he was going to make it back to land, and was trying to remember what his life insurance policy was like. Don't worry, he made it and I'm still broke.
  
• Watching my almost 60 year old aunt hop up, never fall, and paddle around like she was born to do it (and having Mandy follow her around like a little sea puppy just in case she does go over).
• Attempting to go double on the board. Trust me, it doesn't work.

8. Learning a new Slovenian drinking game. Basically, you put a deck of cards on a can or shot glass and try to blow the cards off. The person to blow the last card off has to drink whatever is in the can/shot glass. Hilarity ensues. This quickly became the most popular game of the weekend.

7. Lava Flows all weekend. Basically a Pina Colada with strawberry puree in it. Delicious, $5, and served right next to the pool What could go wrong?

6. Flatbread Pizza Co. Amazing flatbread pizza using local ingredients. Hurley (from Lost! Is anyone watching the season finale?) recommended it on his blog, so we went to check it out. Any pizza good enough for Hurley is good enough for me! Believe it or not, my fave was the veggie (can you believe it Beth?), with potatoes and goat cheese, although the sausage pizza was nothing to sneeze at.

5. Pterodactyl flip cup. You may have had to be there, but this almost killed my cousin. Seriously, she disappeared and we didn't see her for most the next day, we were worried. Basically, you have to drink and flip with your hand backwards (I know this makes no sense, don't worry, I'll show it to you). Quick, right now reach behind you and pretend you are picking up a cup from a shelf without looking. Now, with your arm like that, reach around in front of you and try to drink like that, with your elbow out all wonky. That is Pterodactyl flip cup.

4. Beer flights at Maui Brew co. I highly recommend that you try all of their beer. Some of it it weird and rum flavored, but all of them are worth a taste. Bonus points if you get a pulled pork slider to chase the beer with.

3. Safeway. Weird but true, Safeway came through for us time and time again. The main highlight was the ability to order ahi tuna poke by the container at the seafood counter. $8 a pound and the freshest ahi I have ever had. Mmmmm, delicious, especially on a cracker with some brie.

2. Hanging out with the Bible clan. As crazy as they all are, the Bibles are a good group of people. It was a blast seeing cousins, uncles and aunts that I rarely get to see. They are always up for a good time, and what is a better family reunion than Maui?

1. The Bible-Mathy wedding (as if you didn't know this was coming). It was awesome to see my favorite cousin get married to a good guy, with a great group of people showing them love and support. Get ready for another mini list, becuase there were several highlights within the wedding and reception:

• A rainbow broke out right as the groom kissed the bride and they walked back up the aisle. It was so Disney that I almost broke out into "Hakuna Matata"
• The bride getting down on the dance floor. She dances just like me, so you can close your eyes and get a visual.
  
• Getting several people to do the crab dance, its sweeping the nation!
• Taking cactus cooler shots at the bar during the after party. When the red bull ran out, we did vodka/peach schnapps shots. When the vodka ran out, we did beer/schnapps shots. I'll let you guess how I'd rank them in terms of deliciousness. The best part was chanting someones name until they were forced into taking a shot. I love peer pressure!

And that, my amigos, was my mini vacay to Maui. We managed to simultaneously pack a lot in and relax. And while I'm still sad and jealous that you are off gallivanting in exotic lands, at least I have a hint of a tan to console me through the cold San Francisco summer.

(Two people that are not me, but who I hung out with a lot over the course of the trip)